Top Ten Things You Should Know About Church
Whether you have been around the church for a long time and are something of church expert or are newly returning to church life, you know firsthand how weird and wonderful church can be. For those of you are just getting to know church, let me just tell you what you will find out soon, churches are odd and tricky, holy and messy, loving and complicated. Although we have members, we are not like a club because we welcome each and every person who wants to grow in faith. Although, we need financial resources to thrive, there is no fee to worship here. Although, we gather in a building on Sunday to be together with God, our ministry extends far beyond these walls. This church and every church is a weird and wonderful place and being a part of a church means that we are a family. We are bound together not by blood, but by a common commitment to follow the God we know in Jesus Christ. So here is a list of things you should know as a member of the Body of Christ in this place.
Number Ten. It is okay to not have it all figured out. I have said this time and time again, but it is clear to me that many among us simply do not believe it. When it comes to faith, it is truly okay not to have things all figured out. For some of you, this is hard to believe because you grew up in faith traditions that emphasized right thinking and right belief, which gave you no space or permission to come to your own place of understanding what it means to be a Christian. For others of you, you have the kind of brain that desperately wants to put things into categories, which is a fruitless endeavor when it comes to a relationship with God. But, it is never too late to begin a journey with God and if we waited until we have things all figured out to try to be like Jesus, then most of us would be waiting forever.
Number Nine. You don’t need to pretty yourself up to come here. Most of the time when someone has not been in church for a while and I call to check in, I hear different versions of the same story. I hear things like, “I am going through a hard time and I didn’t want to have to explain,” or “My son got in trouble at school and I was too embarrassed to come to church,” or “I have been out of work and I don’t want to have to say the same thing every week.” It is certainly in our nature as human beings to want to put on a good face, but this is the one place where you should feel safe to fall apart. This is the place where you can break down and be held. This is the place where you can stand up and say, “My life is in shambles,” and know that you are not alone. This is the place where you can be where you are and remember that your value is not dependent upon your life going as planned. You don’t need to pretty yourself up to come here because we are your brothers and sisters in Christ.
Number Eight. If you truly love this church, talk about it. I have learned that most New Englanders would rather do pretty much anything than talk about church or faith or an experience of God. But, if you have found something special, something that has touched your heart or changed your life, wouldn’t you want others to have this experience? I don’t mean that you have to knock on the doors of your neighbors and ask if they have been introduced to Jesus, but the more I meet people outside these walls, the more I understand how hungry people are for meaning. Most people are looking for a context to seek a relationship with a Higher Power and most people, whether or not they are willing to admit it, need a community of people who will love them flaws and all. If you truly love this church, talk about it, share the gift you have received.
Number Seven. If we believe the Gospel is true, then we must act like it. While everyone joins a church for a different reason, it seems to me that we often lose sight of how much we could do with God, if we let God lead us. In the very first chapter of the Gospel of Luke we read, “Nothing is impossible with God,” and for a lot of us this remains as a lofty sentiment from long ago. But, if we really, genuinely believe that nothing is impossible with God, it seems that this should guide everything that we do and lift us up when we aren’t sure what the next step with God will be. If we believe the Gospel is true, then we must act like it, which often means telling our fears to take a seat and step aside so that the Spirit can move in.
Number Six. Pastors do not just work on Sunday. I am sure that all of you know this to be true, but there is rarely a month that goes by when I do not hear the joke, “Why are you tired, you only work once a week?” I love being your pastor and I take very seriously all of our jobs as ministers grounded in Jesus Christ. And any pastor will tell you that this kind of work takes a lot more than 40 hours during a typical week. It is an odd and beautiful kind of life, but one with little privacy, rarely two days off in a row and a tricky navigation of leading amid differing opinions, where it is not possible to please everyone. It is not your job to take care of your pastor, but understanding even a part of a pastor’s life is a great way to offer support.
Number Five. Attend the funeral of fellow church member. Few of us will have made a big enough mark on the world to fill a coliseum when we die. Most of us will die when we are old and according to recent studies, many of us will die without anyone else around. So much of Jesus’ life was about telling the world that God’s being is imprinted by each of us. In the Gospel of Matthew, we hear that not even a sparrow falls to the ground without God knowing about it, which means God is with us even as we transition beyond this life. Yet, even as we know that God’s spirit is with those who are dying and the family that is left behind, part of what we promise when we join a church is to be family to the other members of the Body of Christ. At a memorial service or a funeral for a fellow member of our church, we represent to the family what we have experienced in our God. We represent the steadfast love and presence of a community woven together in Christ. If one of us dies, whether we knew them well or not, being a part of this church means that we show up to celebrate their life, we show up to surround the family with love, we show up because God always shows up for us.
Number Four. If God has given you a vision, don’t drop it off at church and leave it. Some of the most exciting phone calls and e-mails that I receive are ones in which someone is sharing an idea. I love these kinds of conversations and feel as if I am getting to glimpse, even if for just a moment, what God is doing in all of your lives. But often, the idea is dropped off at the church and left behind. We know from the scriptures, that each of us has different gifts and often God has given you an idea or a vision because God needs you in particular to make it happen. I have heard ideas about starting an after school program for youth or a church wide comprehensive recycling program or a summer camp for kids and I am sure that there are more. But if God has given you a vision, don’t drop it off at church and leave it, expecting someone else to make it happen. Instead, bring it here, share it with the Equipping Team, share it with anyone who will listen and hold it so that your community of faith can help it come alive.
Number Three. The congregation is bigger than the directory. There are those who call upon the church when a loved one dies and they need a safe place for a funeral. There are those who call us to find out if we would truly welcome gay and lesbian people in worship and a conversation about God’s love ensues. There are those who call on us because they are hungry or need money to pay a utility bill or money for gas. These people are a part of who we are, a part of our mission, a part of Jesus’ call for us to be his hands in the world. When you support the church financially, you are also supporting people whose names you do not know. You are supporting the woman on disability with no one else to call. You are supporting the man in recovery who needs a nonjudgmental ear. You are supporting the young single mother working at Dunkin’ Donuts trying to make ends meet. Our congregation is much larger than the members and friends listed in our directory, supporting this place means that you are ensuring that there is sanctuary of hope and a compassionate ear waiting for anyone in need.
Number Two. The church is more like a school than most of us are ready to accept. Pastors often receive complaints from one person in the church about another. Any clergy person will tell you that this is simply part of our work. Someone will send an e-mail lamenting that Sally was rude at coffee hour or that Mr. Smith cut people off at a committee meeting or that little Joey was fidgety during prayer. To be sure, much of my job is helping all of us become the person God is calling each of us to be, but I am frequently surprised by how shocked people are to discover that the church is filled with imperfect people. Perhaps this misunderstanding comes from the fact that we Christians focus on really big things, things like peace in the world, feeding those who are hungry and being a presence for those who are lonely. But as much as God calls us to work on these big things, God also calls us together in this place as a church to learn how to be more like Jesus. This isn’t a radical idea to most, but I think that for a lot of us, we can easily forget that one of the main reasons we are called together is to work out our little peccadilloes and our quirks. We are here as a church in part to learn to love Sally even when she is rude and to sometimes muster up the courage to speak the truth to her in love. We are here as a church in part to confront Mr. Smith when he cuts people off, not because we need to be right, but because we have all promised to help each other grow. We are here as a church in part to grow in patience and compassion as we find God even with a squealing kid in the next pew over. Church is not a place for people to behave perfectly, that is not possibly, rather church is in part a school, which means not one of us can say that we are finished taking classes, not one of us gets to stand by while others work hard to grow in love, not one of us is exempt from our day in and day out promise to become more like Christ. By joining this community of faith, we are not guaranteed that we get to avoid people behaving badly, but we do have a guarantee, actually a 100% guarantee from God that we will never be alone and that if we are willing, being a part of this place will bring us closer to God.
Number One. It is not all about you. Few of us would admit to it, but most of us live as if it is all about us. Even when we have good intentions, most of us do what we do because it is best for us as individuals. The majority of us go about our days with our blinders on, seeing what we want to see or need to see, doing what works for us. It is not uncommon; rather it is our nature as human beings to assume that most of the things in our lives are all about us. And when it comes to church, we want our favorite hymns to be sung, the prayers we loved as a kid to be read, we want our pew to be reserved or our own preference to be held up, that is just who we are. Often people leave churches or withdraw a pledge or threaten to unravel something they don’t like because it doesn’t suit them, but despite what we are used to in the world, despite what we experience in the rest of our lives, the church, by its very nature reminds us who we are. The church puts us in our place and points us to God. The church shows us that there is a bigger picture being painted. It is not all about us; it is about God and God’s plans for the people who are here and even those who aren’t.
This church and every church is a weird and wonderful place and being a part of a church means that we are a family. We are bound together not by blood, but by a common commitment to follow the God we know in Jesus Christ and thanks be to God for that. Amen.